Cannibals?

Several cannibals were recently hired by a boat insurance agency. "You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees."

The cannibals promised.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our CSR's has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the CSR?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Producers and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat the Customer Service Representative!"

Group Policy?

A new insurance agent returned to the office and eagerly said he had sold a policy.  When asked if he had the urine specimen he said no he forgot.  Several policies were sold and each time he always forgot the specimen. One day he entered the office eagerly carrying a bucket splashing over.  Said--"Boss I just sold a group policy."

Uninsured?

A traveler was brought to the Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery.  The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.  "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine, " said the nun.  "We do need to know , however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"  "No, I'm not ", the man whispered hoarsely.  Can you pay in cash? persisted the nun.  I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."  Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.  "Just my sister in Mexico," he said.  "But she's a humble spinster nun."  "Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith.  Nuns are not spinsters.  They are married to God." "Wonderful, said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.

Make sure you have travel health insurance!

Car Insurance?

The man wanted to buy some car insurance, so he went to the insurance company and asked what the premiums would cost.  First there was anti-fire, which has a $200 premium.  Then, ther was anti-theft, which will cost $150.  At the end, he noticed that there was a anti-fire and anti-theft policy for only $50.  So, he asked the receptionist, "Why in the world do you price the policy for two problems less than for one problem?"  The receptionist replied, "Because nobody steals a burnt car".

Underwriter?

An actuary and an underwriter are watching the eleven o'clock news.  A story comes on involving a man on a window ledge threatening to jump.  The underwriter says, "I'll bet you fifty bucks he doesn't jump."  The actuary says, "I'll take that bet."  A few minutes later the guy jumps.  As the underwriter reaches for his wallet, the actuary says, "Never mind.  It's not fair.  I saw it on the six o'clock news.  The underwriter responds, "So did I, but I just didn't think it would happen twice."